


Cutting The Grass

by orphan_account



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-20
Updated: 2006-03-20
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A Big Block of Cheese Day keeps everyone busy.  SCRIPT-FORMAT





	Cutting The Grass

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Cutting The Grass**

**by:** The Housekeeper 

**Character(s):** Ensemble  


**Category(s):** General  


**Rating:** YTEEN  


**Disclaimer:** I am not making a profit from this. All characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells, NBC, etc., etc. The White House belongs to George W. Bush (to my eternal chagrin).  
**Summary:** It's 'Big Block of Cheese Day' at the White House, and everyone's busy. Violence erupts in Korea and the President considers how best to proceed. Toby and Will try to write Bartlet's speech- for that night. Josh tries not to get a healthcare bill through Congress. C.J. tries to deal with accusations that the government purposely knocked down a Nazarite church. The President and Charlie argue about Robin Hood. Meanwhile, everyone's dealing with crackpot groups like the one that wants to change the ingredients of ink.  
**Written:** 2006-02-25  
**Author's Note:** Ok, my first fic (second posted). I really wanted to concentrate on the dialogue, because that seemed to me what made Sorkin's West Wing. I don't know if I succeeded at all. I had to post this in MANY parts because apparently it's too long. Heh. Feedback is my soul mate. 

Major, **major** thanks to Caz, who rocks my world with her beta-ing. 

Archive: Sure, but toss me an email. 

_TEASER_

_FADE IN: WEST WING LOBBY - DAY_

_[Donna meets Josh in the lobby - they walk and talk.]_

**Donna:** You're late. 

**Josh:** There was… traffic. 

**Donna:** Where? Seeing as you, you know, can _walk_ to the office. 

**Josh:** There was traffic! In the, the… hallway. 

**Donna:** You slept in. 

**Josh:** Yes, I slept in, but it's not my fault! 

**Donna:** Who else's fault could it be? 

**Josh:** My… alarm clock's broken. 

**Donna:** I see. And how did it break? 

**Josh:** Yesterday I hit the snooze button too hard and it started making this high pitched squeal- really bad, I gotta tell you- so I… threw it at the wall. _[INT: JOSH'S OFFICE. Josh takes off his coat and hangs it up.]_

**Donna:** And then you wondered why it didn't work? 

**Josh:** Well, it was a pretty sturdy- 

**Donna:** Okay, you have messages. 

**Josh:** From who? _[Josh walks past her out of the door into the Bullpen - heads for the coffee machine - Donna follows.]_

**Donna:** _[Looking at papers._ ] Leo, Leo, C.J., Toby, Leo- they all want to see you, so I guess Leo wants to see you three times- something about the budget meetings, a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter… and there's a group that wants to talk to you about changing the ingredients of ink. 

**Josh:** You're kidding. 

**Donna:** No. 

**Josh:** And this isn't one of the things that doesn't matter? _[Sighs.]_ Let me see that. _[Takes the paper; scans it. Gives it back.]_ Change the _ingredients_? You make it sound like a dessert. What do you mean, ink? 

**Donna:** Ink. As in, pens. 

**Josh:** What do they want to make it out of? 

**Donna:** You know… 

**Josh:** No, I don't know. That's kind of why I was asking you, actually. 

**Donna:** Different stuff! I don't know. 

**Josh:** Why do they want to change it? _[They head back to his office.]_

**Donna:** The new ink's better for the environment. 

**Josh:** Really? 

**Donna:** Yeah. 

**Josh:** Okay, but I'm still going to use the pens with the ink without the, you know, 'different stuff.' 

**Donna:** Oh, shut up. 

**Josh:** Why do I have a message from these ink people anyway? Shouldn't someone else be handling matters of… writing utensils? 

**Donna:** You forgot? _[Josh gives her a blank stare.]_ Oh, you're gonna love this. 

_CUT TO: ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY_

**Leo:** In the lobby! Of Andrew Jackson's White House… _[Pauses for groans and complaints from the staff. Josh walks in.]_

**Josh:** Sorry. I got… held up. Where are we in the speech? Are we done? 

**Leo:** There was a big block of cheese! 

**Josh:** Oh. 

**Leo:** The block of cheese was huge. In fact, the block of cheese was two tons. And it was there for- 

**Staff and Leo:** Any and all who might be hungry. 

**Leo:** That's right! The least influential, the mean, the ordinary. And it was for these people, the average Americans, that Jackson celebrated and remembered with his big block of cheese. It is in that spirit that we hold this month's 'Mostly-monthly Big Block of Cheese Day.' Enjoy your assignments. I'm outta here. _[Exit Leo.]_

**Toby:** 'Enjoy your assignments?' How does he expect us to…? I have to write the entirety of the President's speech for tonight for- who _is_ it for? Some college group? 

**Will:** I can't remember. Does it matter? 

**Toby:** Not really. The whole speech! 

**Josh:** The Healthcare bill's going into Committee today. 

**C.J.:** It could be worse. 

**Toby:** How could it be worse? 

**C.J.:** Actually, I changed my mind. I don't think it could be worse. 

_[Josh rubs his eyes.]_

**C.J.:** Rise and shine, Chipper. Big Block of Cheese Day is coming at you. Oh, wait. Did I say _at_ you? I meant _for_ you. _[Everyone except Josh leaves.]_

**Josh:** _[Groans. To himself:]_ I should have forgotten to wake up this morning. 

_SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES_

END TEASER 

* * * 

_ACT ONE_

_FADE IN: OVAL OFFICE - DAY_

**Bartlet:** Charlie! 

**Charlie:** _[Walks in.]_ Yes sir? 

**Bartlet:** What happened to my book? 

**Charlie:** Your… book? 

**Bartlet:** Yes. I had a book. It was right here, on the end of my desk. 

**Charlie:** What does it look like? 

**Bartlet:** It's a book, Charlie. Have you seen it? 

**Charlie:** You have lots of books. Is it the one you were reading about the clucking of hens? 

**Bartlet:** Are you mocking my choice of reading matter? 

**Charlie:** Um… no, Mr. President. 

**Bartlet:** So…? 

**Charlie:** What was the book sir? 

**Bartlet:** It was _Robin Hood. [Charlie turns a laugh into a snorting cough. Bartlet looks at him reproachfully.]_ I thought I'd start re-reading some classics. It's relaxing. 

**Charlie:** I haven't seen it, but if I do, you'll be the first to know. 

**Bartlet:** _[Makes dismissive gesture.]_ Get out of here. 

**Charlie:** Yes sir. _[Leo and a General enter from Leo's office.]_

**Bartlet:** Leo, good morning! I hear it's Big Block of Cheese Day. How'd the speech go? 

**Leo:** Oh, as per usual. 

**Bartlet:** The brilliance of it- coming from long minutes of practice, I suppose you'd have me know- was interrupted, then, by the incessant groans of the staff? 

**Leo:** Several times. 

**Bartlet:** Excellent. What was it you wanted to see me about? 

**Leo:** There's a situation in Korea. 

**Bartlet:** _[Deadpans.]_ No kidding. 

**Leo:** Yeah, well… 

**General:** Sir, the North is threatening military action against the South. 

**Bartlet:** _[Sarcastically]_ Aren't there fences or something to stop them from doing that? 

**Leo:** Well, you'd think… 

**General:** From what we're getting, it looks like they've mobilized artillery and several armed military helicopters. 

**Bartlet:** How'd they get those? 

**Leo:** We really don't know. 

**Bartlet:** 'Cause it's probably not important to know who's selling weapons and military supplies to our enemies. Why can't we just stop them? 

**Leo:** We don't have troops at every point on the border. 

**Bartlet:** Maybe we should fix that. What's happening right now? 

**General:** South Korean citizens are engaging in violent conflict with North Korean soldiers along the border. 

**Bartlet:** _Violent_ conflict? Is there such a thing as _non_ -violent conflict in these situations? 

**General:** No, I guess not, Mr. President. 

**Bartlet:** Well, okay then. That's all. 

**General:** Thank you, sir. _[Exit General.]_

**Bartlet** _(to Leo, continuing his thought from earlier)_ : Though I suppose there's non-violent conflict of belief or opinion. A good healthy argument, like a debate. And we see peaceful protests all the time- rallies, demonstrations… 

**Leo:** Sir. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah, I know. 

**Leo:** We're in the Situation Room. 

**Bartlet:** I'll be right down. 

**Leo:** Yes, sir. _[Exit Leo.]_

_CUT TO: COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN - DAY_

_[Toby walks into the bullpen from the hall, waving a piece of paper, clearly upset.]_

**Toby:** Who wrote this statement on the protests in Lebanon? 

**Will:** _[Coming out of his office.]_ Probably an intern. 

**Toby:** Fire them. _[Reading.]_ 'This is good. This is progress and progress is good. They are voicing their protests through speech.' What the hell is this? 

**Will:** 'This is progress and progress is good'? 

**Toby:** 'They are voicing their protests through speech'? Is there any other way to _voice_ a protest? 

**Will:** Probably not. 

**Toby:** Fire them. How're your sections of the speech coming? What are you doing - commerce, the environment…? 

**Will:** Yeah. They're not coming very well. 

**Toby:** Well, at least we're consistent. _[Turns.]_ Bonnie, what's my next meeting? 

**Bonnie:** Society to Ban the Preservation of Sea Turtles. 

**Toby:** Yes. This is exactly what I thought I'd be doing in the White House. 

_CUT TO: OVAL CORRIDOR - DAY_

[Leo is walking. Josh catches up. They head towards C.J.'s office] 

**Josh:** Hey. 

**Leo:** Hey. _[Long pause.]_ Did you need me for something? 

**Josh:** No, not really. I'm trying to avoid going back to my office. 

**Leo:** Okay. _[Pause.]_ Oh yeah, I forgot. We have a problem. 

**Josh:** With what? 'Cause I've got these people waiting for me when I get back who want to change the chemical makeup of ink and- 

**Leo:** The Healthcare bill. 

**Josh:** Only one problem? We're doing good. 

**Leo:** Yeah, Hanson attached a rider. 

**Josh:** On what? 

**Leo:** Income Tax? Not quite sure of the details. Just got it. 

**Josh:** Sonofa… That's a pretty big problem. 

**Leo:** Yeah. 

**Josh:** So…? 

**Leo:** Fix it. 

**Josh:** On it. 

_[Leo keeps walking. Josh stops and knocks on the doorframe of C.J.'S OFFICE.]_

**C.J.:** _[Working, not looking up- yelling.]_ Carol! Don't let the nut jobs in yet, I'm busy! Danny, just… shut up and go away. And if you're anybody else I don't care about, just… shut up and go away anyhow. 

**Josh:** You mean nut jobs other than the usual nut jobs you got hanging around here? 

**C.J.:** _[Looks up. Sarcastically.]_ Yeah. It's strange- it's like they're drawn to my office, attracted here by some great and powerful force that we can't even begin to understand. 

**Josh:** They can sense it, C.J. They've come for you. 

**C.J.:** _[Points._ ] You- just… shut up. 

**Josh:** You know C.J., some would say that a lack of people skills in a press secretary would be a disadvantage, but I… 

**C.J.:** _[Exasperated.]_ What do you _want_? 

**Josh:** I can come back later, if you- 

**C.J.:** _[Sighs.]_ No, it's okay. I was going to talk to you anyway. 

**Josh:** About what? 

**C.J.:** The rider on the Healthcare bill. 

**Josh:** That's what I was going to talk to you about. 

**C.J.:** The bill? 

**Josh:** Yeah. We have to drop it. We can't endorse it. It can't get to Congress. 

**C.J.:** Well, yeah. 

**Josh:** Okay. 

**C.J.:** Okay. 

**Josh:** Alright then. _[Starts to leave.]_ It's not going to get past the Democrats in the House. It won't even get out of Committee. 

**C.J.:** Yeah. 

**Josh:** 'Kay then. 

**C.J.:** Hey, can I get your opinion on some things? 

**Josh:** Now? 'Cause I've got about a hundred files full of stuff I don't really care about piled on my desk, and some crackpots camped out in my office who want to change the stuff ink's made out of. To, you know, different… stuff. 

**C.J.:** Are you trying to set a world record or something for saying 'stuff' the most times in a sentence? 

**Josh:** Okay, I'm leaving. 

**C.J.:** What's wrong with ink we use now? 

**Josh:** Bad for the environment. 

**C.J.:** Really? 

**Josh:** According to Donna, so really, it could just be… 

**C.J.:** Okay, but I'm going to keep my old pens without the ink with the, 'you know, different stuff.' 

**Josh:** Just… shut up. 

**C.J.:** Okay. 

**Josh:** I'm leaving. _[Walks out.]_

**C.J.:** See ya. 

_CUT TO: SITUATION ROOM - DAY_

**General:** Sir, we have to handle this delicately, now more than ever. We can't afford to let the North get skittish and set off some bombs. 

**Nancy:** Bombs nothing. If we're not careful, it's going to be the Korean War all over again. 

**Leo:** Maybe more like World War III. China's going to want to do something. 

**Bartlet:** Is our military presence large enough to handle something like this? 

**Fitzwallace:** Not if the situation escalates. 

**Leo:** Well, we'll have to hope that doesn't happen. 

**General:** Yeah, because if the Chinese _do_ get involved, it'll be a whole different ballgame. 

**Bartlet:** _[Nods. Pauses.]_ What pissed them off? 

**Fitzwallace:** I'm sorry, sir? 

**Bartlet:** North Korea. What pissed them off? 

**Fitzwallace:** A couple of peaceful protests. 

**Bartlet:** _[Nods again.]_ Alright. _[Pause.]_ Put the troops there on a state of heightened alert. 

**Fitzwallace:** Yes sir. 

**Bartlet:** That's all. Keep me posted. _[Exits.]_

_CUT TO: JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY_

[Two men are sitting in front of Josh's desk. A board behind them has the word 'SIHOPE' written on a large white piece of paper. Josh enters.] 

**Josh:** Sorry to keep you waiting. 

**Representative 1:** That's quite all right. We're from SIHOPE. I'm Jordan Russell, and this is my colleague, Gregory Johansen. 

**Johansen:** Hello. 

**Josh:** Sigh-Hope? 

**Russell:** The Society to Improve Household Objects for the Preservation of the Environment. 

**Josh:** Ah. 

**Russell:** We've come to talk to you about what we believe is the most important of our many issues at hand- ink. _[He motions to Johansen, who flips up the page on the board. A bunch of chemical symbols are now visible.]_ As you can see, this is the chemical composition of normal ink. This- _[Johansen flips the page again, revealing a very similar-looking piece of paper, with a slightly different arrangement of symbols.]_ -is the composition of… _[Dramatic pause.]_ Ink EF! 

**Josh:** EF? 

**Russell:** Environmentally-Friendly. Would you like a demonstration? 

**Josh:** Uh, sure. 

_[Johansen flips to a blank page, takes a strange-looking pen, and scribbles. Very light-blue water comes gushing out the end of the pen.]_

**Josh:** Uh… cool. It's great, but kind of… faint. 

**Russell:** That's because it's mostly water. Water-based substances are good for the environment. 

**Josh:** It's good, just a little… runny. 

**Russell:** We prefer to think that it flows well. 

**Josh:** Alright. Why's the old ink bad for the environment? 

**Russell:** It has many chemicals. 

**Josh:** And the new ink has…? 

**Russell:** Fewer chemicals. 

**Josh:** Okay. Can you wait here for a minute? 

_CUT TO: JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - CONTINUOUS. Josh walks out of his office, into Donna's cubicle._

**Josh:** Hi. 

**Donna:** _[Surprised.]_ Hi. 

**Josh:** Act like this is really important, okay? 

**Donna:** I take it it's not, then? 

**Josh:** They're _crazy_ , Donna. You have to get me out of this. 

**Donna:** Deal with it. _[Moves around her cubicle.]_

**Josh:** Come on. _Please_? 

**Donna:** You don't have to be so juvenile about it. _[Sighs.]_ Go work on fixing the rider. I'll make up an excuse for you. 

**Josh:** He's not going to take it off. It's not gonna get through Committee, anyway. 

**Donna:** Well, okay. But you probably don't want it to get to Congress. 

**Josh:** Yeah. _[Long pause.]_

**Donna:** Can't you go annoy someone else? 

**Josh:** I could, but that'd be no fun. 

**Donna:** I'll send you back in there. 

**Josh:** I'm going. 

**Donna:** The rider? 

**Josh:** I'm gonna try. _[Walks towards the door to the lobby. Donna goes back to work.]_

CUT TO: TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY 

[Toby is sitting behind his desk, bored and agitated, listening to a man (Dr. Joseph Ritinger) and woman (Mary Forthenheimer) speak.] 

**Ritinger:** Sea Turtles have a negative impact on the environment and the ecosystem. They must be eliminated. 

**Toby:** Dr. Ritinger. Let me… you want to kill turtles? 

**Forthenheimer:** No. That would be cruel. 

**Ritinger:** So, we've come up with a more positive solution. 

**Toby:** Which is? 

**Ritinger:** Ban the _preservation_ of Sea Turtles. Allow them simply to die out. 

**Toby:** Ah. I see. Well, that would explain the name. 

**Ritinger:** It's a very cost-effective measure. And the beauty of it is that it requires absolutely no effort from the government or any other groups at all. 

**Toby:** _[Miserably.]_ Yeah. 

_CUT TO: PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - DAY_

**Reporters:** C.J.! C.J.! 

**C.J.:** Mark. 

**Mark:** The President's speech tonight. What's the name of the group? 

**C.J.:** The University Students' Coalition for American Living. Steve. 

**Steve:** What's the subject of the speech? 

**C.J.:** Sit tight. You'll see when you get your copy. Chris? 

**Chris:** C.J., will the President fully explain the distribution of the extra 34 million in education spending he outlined in the State of the Union? 

**C.J.:** Again, you'll have to wait for the copy. Toby and Will are still polishing, but you should have your copies in a few hours. One more. Yeah, Danny? 

**Danny:** Does the White House have a response for the Gopriers? 

**C.J.:** I'm sorry? The Gaw-pree-ays? 

**Danny:** Yeah. The Nazarite Church that they own is being knocked down to enable the enlargement of a highway going through the region, and they're accusing the government of victimizing them. 

**C.J.:** I'll get back to you on that one. And that's it for the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have some crazy people waiting in my office. 

_FADE OUT_

END OF ACT ONE 

* * * 

ACT TWO 

FADE IN: OVAL OFFICE - DAY 

**Bartlet:** Charlie! 

**Charlie:** _[Walks in.]_ Yes, sir? 

**Bartlet:** Have you found _Robin Hood_? 

**Charlie:** No sir. 

**Bartlet:** Have you checked the Residence? 

**Charlie:** It was the first place I looked. 

**Bartlet:** Right. This is important, Charlie. This is literary history. _Robin Hood_ , after all, is a glorious, celebrated classic. The most popular version- that one that caused the story to really take off and the one I'm currently in the middle of- and would like to get back to- is _The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood_ , written by Howard Pyle in 1883. As opposed to other versions, the novel is set during the reign of not King Richard or his brother, King John, but the earlier King Henry II, their father. 

**Charlie:** Uh-huh, sir. While we're attempting to locate this glorious piece of literary history, would you like another book? 

**Bartlet:** Yes please. 

**Charlie:** Alright then. _[Starts to leave. Bartlet calls after him.]_

**Bartlet:** But nothing modern! A good, solid classic. 

**Charlie:** Yes sir. _[Charlie walks out and we see Will waiting patiently.] (To Will)_ : You can go on in. _[Will walks in.]_

**Bartlet:** Will! Did you know that the version of _Robin Hood_ by Howard Pyle was the first to set the plot during the reign of King Henry II, instead of- 

**Will:** King Richard or John. Yes sir. 

**Bartlet:** Okay. Charlie lost my book. My copy of that _Robin Hood_. 

**Will:** That's terrible. 

**Bartlet:** Don't you mock me, too. 

**Will:** Wouldn't dream of it. 

**Bartlet:** That's what I thought. How's the speech coming? 

**Will:** Um, fine. Actually, sir, Toby thinks we should cut the section on commerce. 

**Bartlet:** Why? 

**Will:** He thinks it'll be of little or no interest to the audience. 

**Bartlet:** Which is…? 

**Will:** The… University Students' Coalition for American Living. They're a, uh, group that runs programs in schools and in the community- youth groups, fundraising, recycling programs, sports teams- that kind of thing. 

**Bartlet:** And what do you think? About cutting commerce. 

**Will:** Well, considering what they do- helping out locally, teaching underprivileged children, volunteering to feed the homeless- talking about helping big companies pay taxes to the government might not be a particularly tactful way to go. 

**Bartlet:** _[Nods]_. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. 

**Will:** Thank you, sir. _[Exits.]_

CUT TO: C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY 

[Josh is sitting on the end of the desk. C.J. is trying to write something. Josh accidentally knocks over a pile of papers.] 

**C.J.:** Josh! 

**Josh:** Sorry. 

**C.J.:** I'm trying to get some work done! If you want to hide from the pen people, at least sit on the couch. 

**Josh:** Right. _[Moves to couch.] [Pause.]_ Got any food? 

**C.J.:** Josh! 

**Josh:** Right. _[Jumps up again.]_ Work. 

**C.J.:** Josh, for the love of-... Would you just go finish up with the environmental ink? _Please_? 

**Josh:** Fine. If I die from boredom and exposure to ludicrousy, I'm blaming you. _[Leaves.]_

C.J. _(to herself)_ : Okay. Well, you just do that then. 

_CUT TO: JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY_

[The SIHOPE men are still there, sitting. Josh enters.] 

**Josh:** Sorry again. I was busy doing… I had a thing with the… never mind. Where were we? 

**Russell:** I was going to tell you that not only is Ink EF environmentally friendly, but it's also cost-effective and more efficient overall. 

**Josh:** What do you mean, more efficient? 

**Russell:** Since, as you've noticed, Ink EF is thinner than the ink we currently use, so it goes further. The water spreads the colour out more, so less pigment needs to be made. That means fewer factories, fewer chemicals, fewer ingredients and supplies, and fewer carbon dioxide emissions. As you can see, any problems which may be encountered by making the switch are far outweighed by the benefits. 

**Josh:** _[Faking interest.]_ …Impressive. 

**Johansen:** The benefits to humans as well as the environment would be substantial. Fewer allergies due to pollution, less global warming, reduction in polar melt, and, need I add, cheaper pens. All in all, Ink EF would improve our planet and our lives, allowing us to live to our full potential in a peaceful world. 

**Josh:** Okay. Do you have a brochure or something? _[Johansen pulls something from his briefcase.]_

**Johansen:** _[Struggling with a huge book of papers, several thousand pages thick.]_ This comprehensive guide- _[finally lifts it and drops it on Josh's desk, where it lands loudly]_ -includes everything you'll need to know, from benefits to composition to manufacturing instructions. 

**Josh:** On second thought, why don't you leave it with my assistant, Donna? She handles all of the… paperwork. Thanks for your time. _[Shakes hands with them. They leave. Josh closes the door behind them, leans against it, and gives a sigh of relief. Pauses until he's sure they're gone, then opens the door.]_ Donna! 

**Donna:** Yeah? 

**Josh:** Get me a meeting with Congressman Hanson. 

**Donna:** Sure. 

_CUT TO: C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY_

[Toby is sitting on the couch. C.J. enters.] 

**C.J.:** What are you doing? 

**Toby:** Hiding. 

**C.J.:** From whom? 

**Toby:** The SBPST. 

**C.J.:** The what? 

**Toby:** The Society to Ban the Preservation of Sea Turtles. 

**C.J.:** Oh. 

**Toby:** Yeah. 

**C.J.:** Why does everyone use my office when they need to avoid weird people? 

**Toby:** 'Cause you don't care? _[Pause. Then they both begin to speak at once.]_

**C.J.:** You know, you should just- 

**Toby:** Don't even start with this- _[Another pause while they wait for the other to speak, then the same thing happens.]_

**C.J.:** Josh was just here with the same problem- 

**Toby:** You should be worried about the press, not- 

**C.J.:** You gonna let me talk? 

**Toby:** If I have to. 

**C.J.:** So… Danny told me about these people. 

**Toby:** Yeah? 

**C.J.:** The Gopriers. 

**Toby:** Is that French? 

**C.J.:** Do I look like I know? 

**Toby:** Not really, no. 

**C.J.:** Well, then… Anyway, these people are claiming the government purposely bulldozed this church they own, a Nazarite church, to build a highway. 

**Toby:** Well, I hope it was on purpose, 'cause otherwise we'd have a maniac running around with a bulldozer. That might be a bigger problem. 

**C.J.:** Toby! 

**Toby:** Yeah. _[Pause.]_ Are there even any French Nazarites? 

**C.J.:** Toby! 

**Toby:** Sorry. Is it a federal road? 

**C.J.:** No. 

**Toby:** Then isn't it a state thing? What's it got to do with us? 

**C.J.:** They're blaming us. 

**Toby:** Why would the federal government choose to knock over a Nazarite Church? 

**C.J.:** 'Cause we don't like Nazarites? 

**Toby:** Okay. _[Gets up.]_ I'm going to go face the painfully idiotic Society for… whatever, and subject myself to more agonizing rants about turtles now. 

**C.J.:** My hero, saving the world, one less sea turtle at a time. _[Toby exits.]_

CUT TO: SITUATION ROOM - DAY 

**Fitzwallace:** Mr. President, the troops are all on high alert and we have dispatched teams to most major cities. 

**Leo:** Needless to say, sir, there are quite a few people who are unhappy about our involvement. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah. 

**Admiral:** The protests that sparked this are still underway. 

**General:** We should get them out of there. 

**Nancy:** They have a right to protest. 

**General:** Not if it gets them killed. 

**Fitzwallace:** Nancy's right. Our job is to provide protection, not to dismantle _peaceful_ protests that, may I add, represent the concept of democracy and personal freedom at its strongest. 

**Officer:** You know they'll blame us if someone dies. 

**Leo:** They'll blame us no matter what happens. It's not our place to dictate what they can or can't protest, or when and where it should happen. On the other hand, we need to provide as much protection as possible for the citizens who require it. 

**Fitzwallace:** Sorry, Leo, but we can't do that. Our troops are stretched pretty thin. 

**General:** So we should tell everyone to go home? 

**Bartlet:** What are they protesting? 

**General:** Sir- 

**Bartlet:** What are they protesting? 

**Nancy:** The lack of courses on global culture in colleges and universities. 

**Bartlet:** They stay. 

**Officer:** Sir- 

**Bartlet:** If it gets any worse, pull them out, but until then, they stay. Let's get this under control. _[Rises and leaves. Leo follows.]_

FADE OUT

END OF ACT TWO 

* * * 

ACT THREE 

FADE IN: TOBY'S OFFICE - LATE DAY 

**Ritinger:** To create nests, the female sea turtles disturb otherwise pristine beaches that could be used by humans. 

**Toby:** Yeah, because beaches used by humans are _reall_ y pristine. 

**Forthenheimer:** But the disturbing of beaches affects other flora and fauna. Besides, sea turtles also eat a wide variety of organic material, including jellyfish, seaweed, crabs, shrimp, snails, algae, and mollusks, which otherwise might have a chance to flourish. 

**Toby:** Isn't that what they're supposed to do? And couldn't you say that about any animal? They all eat, right? I didn't miss that day in bio class? 

**Ritinger:** Nevertheless, sea turtles, because they have all of the negative effects that we've told you about, as well as destroying other forms of life, are undoubtedly the worst offenders, and have to be eliminated. Our plan is the simplest for achieving this end. 

**Forthenheimer:** It would involve no interference from mankind. 

**Ritinger:** We can allow the sea turtle to die out as they would naturally. 

**Toby:** If it wasn't for mankind, they wouldn't be dying out in the first place! 

**Ritinger:** We can't make that assumption. Even if mankind did not exist, a new species might have developed that ate only sea turtles. We have to work with the information we have now, which is that turtles are dangerous and must be removed from the environment. 

**Forthenheimer:** Our solution would have the least impact on the rest of the ecosystem. 

**Toby:** That's great. And… we're out of time. Thanks very much, the White House appreciates it, come again please, thank you. _[All but shoves them out the door, shutting it behind them. Takes a deep breath. Picks up a ball and throws it at Will's window. There's no glass. The ball hits Will on the head.]_

**Will:** Ow! 

**Toby:** There's no glass. 

**Will:** Thanks for that astute observation. 

**Toby:** You might want to rethink the mocking, considering that you work for me. 

**Will:** Right. Sorry. Maybe my head isn't quite together. I just got hit in the head with a rubber ball. 

**Toby:** I forgot that _you_ broke the glass. 

**Will:** What do you need? 

**Toby:** How's the speech coming? 

**Will:** I can't concentrate. 

**Toby:** Why not? 

**Will:** There's no glass. 

**Toby:** Didn't you learn about sea turtles? 

**Will:** I did. Which would have been handy if I was writing a school report on sea turtles, but I'm not, so it wasn't. 

**Toby:** A little knowledge can never be a bad thing, Will. Remember that. Besides, if I have to suffer, you have to suffer. We're all equals here. 

**Will:** I'm very happy to hear that. 

**Toby:** Yeah, well, you should be. _[Pause.]_ What do you have so far? 

**Will:** On what? 

**Toby:** What are you working on? 

**Will:** The section on the environment. 

**Toby:** Did you say anything about sea turtles? _[Pause. Will looks at him reproachfully.]_ Just checking. How far in are you? 

**Will:** Just started. 

**Toby:** What do you have? 

**Will:** 'Our planet has sustained life for time beyond imagining. And it's our task to make certain that that legacy is preserved. For what is there besides the future? Our sons and our daughters will inherit what we leave them- our will. We must make it worthy of our children.' 

**Toby:** 'Make certain' is awkward there. 

**Will:** I know. 

**Toby:** And fix that 'that that.' 

**Will:** Yeah. 

**Toby:** Okay. _[Starts to leave.]_

**Will:** How's yours going? 

**Toby:** We're not gonna talk about that. 

**Will:** _[Nods in understanding. Chuckles a little. ]_ Yeah. _[Toby leaves.]_

CUT TO: JOSH'S OFFICE - LATE DAY 

**Josh:** Congressman Hanson. Good afternoon. Have a seat. 

**Hanson:** Thanks Josh. _[They sit.]_ Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? I assume you wanted to speak to me about the rider. 

**Josh:** Yeah. 

**Hanson:** I'm willing to remove the rider from the bill. 

**Josh:** _[Confused and trying not to show it.]_ You are? 

**Hanson:** I would need a favour in return, however. 

**Josh:** Of course you would. 

**Hanson:** 13 million. 

**Josh:** Dollars? 

**Hanson:** For a study. 

**Josh:** Of…? 

**Hanson:** School prayer. 

**Josh:** And that would cost 13 million dollars? 

**Hanson:** Yes. There have been other, smaller studies done. Basically, they concur in their findings that children who find spirituality are less likely to experience depression and other psychological disorders later in life. 

**Josh:** As opposed to those who have so much exposure to 'spirituality' that they decide it's a good idea to kill people they don't like? 

**Hanson:** That's not- 

**Josh:** Arthur, you can't impose prayer on people, especially if they're children. They might just be getting comfortable with the idea of God but can't get their heads around the idea of religion- let alone actually _belonging_ to a religion, and practicing it. A large proportion of kids and teens consider themselves atheist or agnostic, and those numbers are rising daily. 

**Hanson:** Which is _precisely_ why they need spiritual guidance and direction. 

**Josh:** You can't force people into religion! Isn't the point to believe in what you believe in? 

**Hanson:** I just want the study. 

**Josh:** There's no way the federal government is funding this. 

**Hanson:** The federal government, or just this government? 

**Josh:** Even if we agreed to it, it would never get through Congress. 

**Hanson:** The gesture would be enough. Think about it. _[Exits.]_

CUT TO: C.J.'S OFFICE - LATE DAY 

[C.J. is sitting at her desk, staring into space and tapping and fiddling with her pencil. She hums a little, stops, looks around, fiddles with the T.V. remote, then stops.] 

**C.J.:** Carol! 

**Carol:** _[Pokes her head in.]_ Yeah. 

**C.J.:** What should I be doing right now? 

**Carol:** Um… you mean like now, now, or now, soon? 

**C.J.:** Carol… 

**Carol:** _[Checking schedule.]_ Well, you don't have a meeting for an hour, but there's a briefing in thirty minutes and- 

**C.J.:** What about now, now? 

**Carol:** I don't know how much work you have… but your schedule's clear. 

**C.J.:** Okay. I have nothing to do for thirty minutes. 

**Carol:** Okay. 

**C.J.:** Okay. _[Carol leaves.]_

**Carol** _(from her desk)_ : Hey, Danny. _[Danny walks in.]_

**C.J.:** I have nothing to do for thirty minutes. 

**Danny:** Cool. 

**C.J.:** _[Pause.]_ Did you need something? 

**Danny:** Not really. I have a spare thirty minutes myself. 

**C.J.:** Really? 

**Danny:** No. 

**C.J.:** Oh. 

**Danny:** Nah, I'm just kidding. I had a spare forty-five minutes, but now it's more like twenty-five. 

**C.J.:** Ah. 

**Danny:** So, did you find out about the Gopriers? 

**C.J.:** Carol did some research. I read through it. 

**Danny:** So what's your answer? 

**C.J.:** _[Raises her eyebrows.]_ Guess you'll have to wait for the briefing. 

**Danny:** Carol didn't get research. 

**C.J.:** No, no. She did. 

**Danny:** But you haven't read it yet. 

**C.J.:** I have. 

**Danny:** Yeah. 

**C.J.:** But right now I have a spare thirty minutes. 

**Danny:** Yeah. 

**C.J.:** So you gonna let me…you know, do whatever? 

**Danny:** Okay, I'm gonna… _[Jabs his thumb at the door.]_

**C.J.:** See ya. _[Danny leaves.]_ Carol? 

**Carol:** Yeah. 

**C.J.:** Do you have that research I asked for? 

**Carol:** Yeah. _[Hands C.J. a folder.]_

**C.J.:** _[Scans contents of folder, then starts to smile. Begins walking towards the Press Briefing Room. Carol follows.]_ You sure this is accurate? 

**Carol:** Yeah. I got most of it from the sheriff's office. Why? 

**C.J.:** Life is wonderful, Carol. Never forget it. 

**Carol:** …C.J.? 

**C.J.:** _[Ecstatic.]_ I win. Danny loses. Again. 

**Carol:** O… kay. Where are we going? 

**C.J.:** I'm heading over to the briefing room early. 

**Carol:** …Why? 

**C.J.:** Just going to prepare for my glorious victory with cheers and applause. Mental cheers. I'll be here, you know, doing that, if anyone needs me. _[Walks through the door. Danny is sitting in a seat, scribbling something on his notepad. There are other reporters around.]_ Or, I'll do one better. There's my man, right there. 

**Danny:** Are we doing dinner first? 

**C.J.:** You're funny, you know that? But not ha-ha funny. Just… the other kind. 

**Danny:** Do you have a thing, or are you in here because you have extra time? And are you humiliating me for a reason, or just because it's fun? 

**C.J.:** Well, it _is_ fun, but it's about to get more so. Go ahead, what did you ask me before? 

**Danny:** Uh… never mind. I, uh… 

**C.J.:** Why don't you just ask the question so we can get on with important things? 

**Danny:** No thanks. 

**C.J.:** Why ever not? 

**Danny:** You have that look. 

**C.J.:** What look? 

**Danny:** The one that says you're about to publicly humiliate me in front of all these people- my colleagues, who respect me. 

**C.J.:** I always knew reporters were crazy. But, anyway, how's that different from any other look? _[Reporters listening in laugh.]_ Ask the question, Pokey. 

**Danny:** Does the White House have a response to the Gopriers? 

**C.J.:** In fact, we do. Not only does the land the Goprier's church was built on not belong to the Gopriers, but the land was sold to the government. That being the case, the Gopriers were required to pay rent for the land, and since they _haven't_ paid rent in over five years- and in that time, _nobody_ has used the church, so it's now considered an abandoned building- the government is free on two counts to do what they'd like with it. Wait, scratch that- _[she checks her sheet, needlessly]- three_ counts. Due to the fact that absolutely no maintenance has been carried out on the church in the last five years, despite warnings and fines, the grass is much higher- about two or three feet higher, in fact- than bylaw allows. So, let that be a lesson to all _[looks around at the gathered reporters]_ \- mow your lawn and pay your rent and the government will have no reason to knock your house down to build a highway. Actually, we probably will, but we'll have to look harder. 

Danny: _[Winces.]_ Uh… thanks, C.J. 

**C.J.:** You're welcome, Pokey. 

_CUT TO: JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - LATE DAY_

[Josh walks over to Donna's desk, deep in thought, and sits on the end of it.] 

**Donna:** _[She stops typing to look at Josh.]_ What did Hanson say about the Healthcare bill? 

**Josh:** He offered us a way out. 

**Donna:** That's great! 

**Josh:** There was a condition. 

**Donna:** Right. There always is. What did he want? _[Josh starts to walk. Donna follows.]_

**Josh:** A 13 million dollar study. 

**Donna:** Of what? 

**Josh:** School prayer. 

**Donna:** And that would cost 13 million dollars? 

**Josh:** Apparently so. 

**Donna:** Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the average person would rather the government fund just a study so that he or she can get better healthcare. 

**Josh:** We can't fund it. There's no way this is coming out of the federal budget. 

**Donna:** Why? 

**Josh:** 'Cause then it would look like we're for school prayer, or the idea of school prayer, even just a little bit. 

**Donna:** So? 'Just a little bit?' Isn't that a good way to make the right like us without totally alienating the left? 

**Josh:** Maybe the more moderate left, but not the far left. And we'd lose McKinley, Thornton, Oakland, Roland, and McDougall, which means we'll lose the vote on- 

**Donna:** The education bill. 

**Josh:** Yeah. 

**Donna:** But what if healthcare, with the rider still attached, passes? Or even just gets to Congress? 

**Josh:** It's extremely, extremely unlikely it'll happen, which, of course, is good for us. 

**Donna:** But it _could_ happen? 

**Josh:** It could, but- 

**Donna:** So what if it does? 

**Josh:** It won't. 

**Donna:** But if it does. 

**Josh:** It won't happen, Donna! 

**Donna:** You know what Sam said Aristotle said, a long time ago? 

**Josh:** No, what did Sam say Aristotle said? By the way, was it Sam that said it a long time ago, or Aristotle? 'Cause if it was Aristotle, it goes without saying that anything he said, he said a long time ago, considering he's been dead for a couple thousand- 

**Donna:** He said, 'A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.' Josh, what if it happens? 

**Josh:** It'd be… bad. 

**Donna:** Josh… 

**Josh:** It would look like all we want is higher taxes, and we're unwilling to give that up for anything. 

**Donna:** So- 

**Josh:** I'm not gonna talk about it! _[Pause.]_ It's not gonna happen. _[Donna stops walking, turns around, and starts walking again. Josh keeps going, troubled.]_

CUT TO: THE OVAL OFFICE - LATE DAY 

**Charlie:** Mr. President. I found you a book. 

**Bartlet:** Oh, good. Let's see what you've got there… 

**Charlie:** _[Handing over a book.]_ I found it in the Residence. 

**Bartlet:** _[Shocked.]_ Anne of Green Gables?! 

**Charlie:** It's a classic. 

**Bartlet:** It's a girl's book. 

**Charlie:** You watch women's softball. 

**Bartlet:** That's different. That's a sport. 

**Charlie:** Of course it is. 

**Bartlet:** That's the second time you've mocked my hobbies today. If you're not careful, you won't be working here anymore. Or, maybe you will be. Just not _here_. Perhaps in the mess. Or cleaning the toilet on the first floor east corridor that always floods. 

**Charlie:** Yes sir. Take the book. It's not modern. Actually, it's pretty old. 

**Bartlet:** Well, that's great, but, actually, it's pretty crappy. See, I can do it too. 

**Charlie:** It's a book. 

**Bartlet:** It's Montgomery. What was wrong with Dickens, or Mark Twain? Why couldn't you take Shakespeare, or Voltaire? You could have chosen Jules Verne, or Herman Melville, or even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. But no. You had to pick the only bad classic out there. 

**Charlie:** I'm sure there's another. 

**Bartlet:** Me too, but when you go get me another book, you're not going to take that one, are you? 

**Charlie:** No sir. 

**Bartlet:** Good boy. _[Charlie leaves. Leo knocks on the door from his office.]_ Come in! 

**Leo:** _[Pause. Gravely.]_ Mr. President… 

**Bartlet:** Leo? 

**Leo:** It's… 

**Bartlet:** What's wrong? 

**Leo:** There was a… terrorist attack on one of our bases. In Alabama. Thirteen guys are dead. Seventeen more are wounded, four in critical condition. 

**Bartlet:** What happened? 

**Leo:** Some guy tossed a grenade into the mess tent. It was- 

**Bartlet:** How did we not…? 

**Leo:** Sir- 

**Bartlet:** Leo, how did we not see this coming? 

**Leo:** Because it's here! _[Pause.]_ Because it happened here. Because our backs were turned, and… 

**Bartlet:** And we were focusing on Korea. 

**Leo:** Yeah. 

**Bartlet:** [Pause.] I'll come down in a minute. _[Leo exits.]_

FADE OUT 

END OF ACT THREE 

* * * 

ACT FOUR 

FADE IN: TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT 

[Toby, Josh, C.J., and Will are sitting or standing in the office, looking worn out, sad, and devoid of ideas.] 

**C.J.:** I'm out of ideas. I can't remember if I had any in the first place. 

**Josh:** He has to say something. 

**Toby:** We know. 

**Will:** Josh is right. I mean, people died. 

**Toby:** We know. 

**Josh:** _[Pause.]_ Should he tie it in with the speech, or…? 

**C.J.:** It seems, I dunno, different. 

**Toby:** It is different. 

**Will:** So he mentions it separately? It gets its own section? 

**Josh:** At the end? 

**Toby:** Yeah. 

**Will:** Okay, so what do we say? 

**C.J.:** _[Long pause while everyone thinks of something- or can't think of anything.]_ He's good at improvising. He can come up with some pretty powerful words. 

**Toby:** He shouldn't have to improvise. We're his voice. _[Pause.]_ We have two hours. 

**Will:** Even if we have nothing to say? Even if no one has anything to say? _[There's a long pause while everyone considers that.]_

**Toby:** _[Pause.]_ Why are you talking? 

**Will:** I- 

**Toby:** Just… don't talk. 

**Josh:** Ease up, Toby. We'll think of something. _[Donna pokes her head in.]_

**Donna:** Josh, you have a budget meeting. _[Carol shows up behind Donna.]_

**Carol** _(to C.J.)_ : And you have a briefing in 5. 

**Toby:** _[Gesturing vaguely toward the door.]_ Go. 

**Will:** We'll get something. And then run it by the President. He'll want to have some input. 

**Josh:** Yeah. _[Josh and C.J. leave.]_

CUT TO: PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT 

[C.J. arrives, hurried.] 

**C.J.:** By now, you probably know as much as I do. We're still getting information from various sources, and I'm referring relevant questions to the FBI, the county Sheriff's Office, and the base spokesman, Lieutenant Daniel McGreggor. All I have for you is that at 7:34 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, a lone man bypassed security and entered Fort Rucker, an Army base located in Southern Alabama. All reports so far concur that the man was acting alone, and not with any organized groups. Initial reports are giving us thirteen dead, all of them members of the… _[Fade out.]_

FADE TO: AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

[Bartlet is speaking to an audience.] 

**Bartlet:** …will inherit what we leave them- our will. We must make it worthy of our children. We must protect the environment, and so protect our sons and daughters. _[He pauses, painfully, before going on.]_ But sometimes that seems hard, our children being who they are, with all the joy and wonder that they bring into the world, never the more so when they are the ones protecting the rest of us. Thirteen soldiers in Alabama gave their lives doing just that. My heart goes out to their families. Your loss is felt deeply, and although none of us can imagine the pain you must be enduring right now, know this: no one will forget their sacrifice. 

But this tragedy- this attack on our faith in our own security- has only served to strengthen our intrinsic belief in the power of human sacrifice, and brings into sharp focus the lives we _haven't_ lost, the bright threads of wisdom and humor afforded to us daily by those around us. 

But we need to be much stronger. We are not united in this time of need. We are adrift in this age of turmoil. A world of terrorism is our new reality, and we are divided in this time of need. We _must_ stand united- right here, as states, as nations. Globally, as a world, as a people. It starts right here. It starts right now. 

Sometimes it feels like they're winning. But that's only because they gloat at the blood, and the fear, and the grief, while we bury our dead in chaos and in silence. But we say to our enemies 'We _will_ be strong.' And anything those enemies do will only make us stronger and more determined in our cause. United, we can defeat those who would attack us, and next time, we will be ready for whatever they throw at us. 

To those who oppose freedom, who oppose democracy, who oppose life itself, there is not so dark a hole on this earth to the depths of which sunlight does not reach and will not penetrate. We will find you. We will sift the very dust. We will search the deserts until all trace of you is scoured from the sands. And we will find you. We will find you and we will win! _[Speaks over applause.]_ It starts right here and it starts right now, and next time, we'll be ready. Thank you, everyone. 

_[Bartlet leaves the stage. Everyone leaves the building. Bartlet works the rope line for a couple seconds before C.J. says, 'Sir, we have to get back.' Everyone piles into the motorcade. C.J. and Toby get in on opposite sides of one of the cars, pull the doors shut behind them, and breathe a sigh of relief.]_

**C.J.:** [Pause.] Toby, the speech was amazing. Everyone I've talked to thinks so, too. _[Pause while Toby studiously says nothing.]_ You're honestly not happy with it? 

**Toby:** Not one of my best. 

**C.J.:** _[Incredulous.]_ Why? 

**Toby:** It was too… I'm trying to… I can't think of the word. This is half the problem. Too… forward, no… chunky? Solid? …It lacked… eloquence. Finesse. 

**C.J.:** 'In chaos and in silence'? Toby, it was brilliant. 

**Toby:** Yeah. _[Pause.]_ Will wrote that line. _[C.J. looks at him, and doesn't say anything.]_

CUT TO: THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT 

[Bartlet walks in to find Abbey sitting, with a book in her lap.] 

**Bartlet:** Oh God. _[Tries to leave.]_ Charlie! 

**Abbey:** Come here, Mister 'I'm-too-good-for-women's-books.' For your information, _Anne of Green Gables_ is a classic, and a celebrated one. And you will read it, if for no other reason than to see that it is not 'beneath' you, you elitist, egotistical literature freak! 

**Bartlet:** Wow. 

**Abbey:** Just take the book. Read it. I'm going to bed. 

**Bartlet:** I'll be up in a minute. _[Abbey starts to leave, but stops to look back at an exhausted Bartlet, who is slumped, staring at the floor, and has a change of heart.]_

**Abbey:** Jed. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah. 

**Abbey:** You did good tonight. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah. 

**Abbey:** The speech was amazing. 

**Bartlet:** Tell Toby. 

**Abbey:** Yeah. _[She starts to leave once more but turns around at the door again.] Robin Hood_ was on the sofa. It probably slipped under the cushions this morning. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah. [Pause.] But I'm reading this. _[Holds up Anne of Green Gables. Abbey smiles tremulously, and leaves.]_

CUT TO: C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT 

[Josh enters.] 

**Josh:** Hey. 

**C.J.:** Hey. 

**Josh:** I couldn't get the rider off. 

**C.J.:** Well, we knew that. 

**Josh:** Yeah. He offered to remove it if we'd fund a 13 million dollar study for school prayer. _[Sits on the end of C.J.'s desk.]_

**C.J.:** A study on school prayer. And that would cost 13 million? 

**Josh:** Yeah, I really don't… anyway, I said no. 

**C.J.:** Well, I should hope so. 

**Josh:** Yeah. _[Pause.]_ I'm gonna start leaning on Congress not to vote for the bill if it gets through Committee. 

**C.J.:** It won't. 

**Josh:** But in case it does. 

**C.J.:** _[Looks at him.]_ Yeah, okay. 

**Josh:** Alright then. _[Stands up.]_ Hey, what was that thing with the church? 

**C.J.:** Oh, these people- the Gopriers- accused the federal government of purposefully knocking down the Nazarite Church they owned to build a state highway. 

**Josh:** Well, I hope we did it on purpose. 'Cause otherwise- 

**C.J.:** Toby already made that joke. 

**Josh:** Damn. So what happened? 

**C.J.:** Well, it turns out that they didn't pay their rent or cut their grass in five years and the land belonged to the government in the first place, so… 

**Josh:** Wow. _[Pause.]_ I always thought that having to cut your grass was a stupid law. I mean, you have to pay someone to do it when you're away. On vacation or something. 

**C.J.:** Or living at work? 

**Josh:** Yeah. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night. 

**C.J.:** Yeah, you too. _[Josh leaves. C.J. puts on her jacket and leaves, shutting the door behind her and walking through the halls.]_

CUT TO: TOBY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 

[C.J. enters from the Communications Bullpen and stands in the doorway.] 

**C.J.:** So I fixed the thing. 

**Toby:** What thing? 

**C.J.:** The Gopriers. 

**Toby:** Ah. 

**C.J.:** There's no maniac running around with a bulldozer. 

**Toby:** That's too bad. 

**C.J.:** _[Ignores him.]_ Just a couple of people who refused to pay their rent and cut their grass. 

**Toby:** I always thought that was a stupid law. 

**C.J.:** What? 

**Toby:** Having to cut your grass. 

**C.J.:** Why? 

**Toby:** What if you're not home for a while? Like on vacation or something? 

**C.J.:** Or writing the State of the Union? 

**Toby:** Yeah. Or that. _[Pause.]_ Anyway, you have to pay someone to cut your lawn, which you could do for free when you get back. 

**C.J.:** _[Chuckles. Ignores Toby's confused look.]_ Yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna head out. Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow. 

**Toby:** Yeah. _[C.J. starts to leave. Toby is doing something at his desk and doesn't see her stop and turn back.]_

**C.J.:** Toby. 

**Toby:** Yeah. 

**C.J.:** The speech was really good. 

**Toby:** Yeah. _[He watches as she turns and leaves.]_

FADE IN: THE PORTICO, OUTSIDE THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT 

[Bartlet is looking away from the White House, perhaps smoking. Leo enters and stands beside him.] 

**Bartlet:** One of the guys in critical condition died. 

**Leo:** Yes sir. 

**Bartlet:** That's fourteen of ours and sixteen more wounded. 34 Koreans were wounded, nine critically, and 22 were killed in the violence. In the end, I guess it didn't really matter which side of the border they were from. They're all dead. 

**Leo:** We did what we thought would best- 

**Bartlet:** We should have done more. 

**Leo:** _[Pause.]_ There was this one time I picked up Mallory from school. I walked in and saw this poster on the wall- you know how they put posters with those sayings on the wall? This was a quote. Les Brown. 'Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you'll land among the stars.' The stars are farther than the moon, and they always will be, and we can't change that… but the sentiment's right. _[Pause.]_ Sir, you can't be perfect all the time. You can't do everything. But if you try hard enough, reach high enough, you won't do too badly. 

**Bartlet:** People died, Leo. I don't know what's worse than- 

**Leo:** Yes. People died. There's violence; it happens. But a bomb didn't go off. No one's at war. The casualty count was lower than it could have been. We got lucky. And that's a start. 

**Bartlet:** Yeah, okay. _[Pause.]_ I'm going to call the families now. I'll be in in a minute. 

**Leo:** Yes sir. _[Leaves.]_

[Bartlet sighs and turns away from the White House. The camera pans past him, upward to the stars. We-] 

FADE TO BLACK 

END OF ACT FOUR 

* * * 

CREDITS 

THE END 


End file.
